you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
