Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
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