respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize