Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
pop tarts are not kleenex
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
