did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
