I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
