I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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