I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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