why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
