Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Green mimosas i think yes
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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