I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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