My first STD was from a foam party
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Just pee around me
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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