I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
