omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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