yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Houston, we have a blender
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
