i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
