Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
tell me about the eggs
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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