jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
