the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
