oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
