If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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