My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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