2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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