ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
