She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
