He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
