Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
