Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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