you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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