i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
