he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
