Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
