I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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