CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You were trust falling into bushes
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
