Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
