my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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