That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
