I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
