It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
