were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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