:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
