What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
