WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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