I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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