lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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