my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
