I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize