it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
