My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
