After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
