so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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