Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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