You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize