Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
