Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize