Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Fuck appropriateness.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
