i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
