The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
