she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize