You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize