i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Can I color on your dick again?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
