Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
