he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
