Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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